“Control” can be a double edged sword. There are good forms of control. And there are bad forms of control.
Toxic work places or some bad relationships are often results of a bad form of control. Where as exercising a healthy lifestyle is usually the result of good control.
Do you see the difference? The first is more outward control. The second is more inward control.
Exercising healthy control in one’s life takes practice. Here is an article giving advising on 20 ways to develop a healthy form if control.
Where healthy control stops is when it either becomes obsessive. For example, OCD tendencies or when you start to try and control some one else’s life.
I often refer in my practice to “taking back the control in your life.” I am referring to the healthy control. The personal variables that you can control like; your own determination, achieving your own goals, your own destiny, and how you want to live. This includes your daily, weekly and monthly routine.
Controlling these aspects in life mean better control in life in general.
Where “control” goes wrong is when you start to exert it over other people. Trying to control those same aspects in their lives becomes abusive.
Bullies cross this line. They use control in a bad way. In order to make themselves feel better, they try to control others options how other people see the person they are bullying. They often “rally the troops” to gang up on an individual as a tactic to lower that individual’s self esteem.
Some bosses exert bad control by employing micromanaging techniques. This usually leads to work place discord.
In bad relationships, one partner can exert bad control by exerting a form of dictatorship within the relationship. It is a form of micromanaging but even more intense. Often they limit the other partner’s activities or friends. They make all the decisions and don’t all their partner to think for themselves. Physical abuse becomes the ultimate form of this control.
Here is a good article on bad control.
Bad control often is the result of fear and to get thru this fear, the best thing to do is work on those fears.
As this last article says, psychotherapy can help. But natural bioenergetics is a good start as well. Often NB can lift those fears much faster.
